Elizabeth the First

Elizabeth, the Tudor cat of England, was probably the most peaceful ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later Anne had her butt chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a fat Protestant and persecuted the skinny Catholics quickly. In 1588 the stupid armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Lucille Ball, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Steven Spielberg. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the tempting Queen.

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